I lost my sister. My amazing big sister gained her wings and my whole world has been shifted off its orbit. It’s been two months – today. She transitioned on my birthday and so peacefully and I will forever cherish that memory.
I’m still a wife, still a mom, still a daughter, still a friend, still a sister and still feel lost in this world without my girl.
It’s those quiet moments when my memory reminds me that I can’t call her to tell her about things or talk about things routine or emergent. Not only can I not call her momentarily but I can’t call her ever. That finality. It’s all devastating.
Missing her presence here on earth even though I know that she is resting in God’s arms. Even just saying she’s resting eternally is crazy. So so crazy!
I’m a girls girl and my sister was one main person outside of my husband and daughter that I could unconditionally love and spoil with my love. She was always receptive of my love and the most understanding person that I knew. She treated me like a sibling and never like child despite our age differences in our adult years and youthful years.
I’m really going to have to live in this world without my sweet sister. It pains me beyond words. We were working on breaking generational and familial trauma together. We had so much work we desired to do together. Life was so much sweeter with her in my life. I felt love from our immediate family that I never had in my adult years. Our relationship was healing and nurturing. I’m so grateful for that and I miss that bond so much. I’m saddened that she won’t get to see me grow up, be a change maker and continue to shake things up.
Life is funky, ghetto and beautiful. I don’t know how I’m going to handle tomorrow but I know who holds it. For that, I am so grateful for a relationship with a King who knows all and feels all and loves us all so deeply. I know He knows my pain and He’s here with me as I journey through this life differently.
My sister is forever etched in my heart forever and ever. I will never be the same and I know God willing, I will see her again. I love you sissy and hope to make you proud in every way. Rest on my sweet sissy. I can’t believe you’re not here anymore and I will miss you forever.
