What exactly does luxury mean? When you think of “luxury” – what vision comes to mind? It is high quality goods and services available only to those with a particular affluent lifestyle that some may classify as elite? And by elite – is that further reserved only for people of a certain race, class, wage and even gender?
As I have gotten older and began to navigate deeper in my 30s, I’ve started to do so more thinking on this definition and essence of luxury. In my late teens and early 20s, I was often teased for being so boujee and labeled ‘high-class’ in certain circumstances. Which is so crazy as all I stood for where higher quality of living standards at any space in life. That quality span beyond material things. Truthfully now and then, I believe that luxury goes beyond items. To be clear, I immigrated from West Africa and went through a plethora of life experiences starting at a young age. So as the saying goes, “I know ball” lol.
Yet when it comes to luxury and specifically for black women – as that’s all and who I am and can speak for – it carries a different definition for me.
It’s the upkeep of the best quality of life in all aspects of this life that we can achieve.
Whether is how we desire to be treated with regards to communication styles (i.e tone, word choice and values); whom we choose to be connected to in romance, kinship, friendship or business/career ; where we choose to live; what and where we eat; how we invest our time and finances (i.e save and spend our money).
I used to feel so guilty for choosing a path that brought me ease, peace – a higher quality of life, a clean vibe and grace for myself and others . I feared it would create a notation that I thought I was better than others – then one day, I realized if I don’t start the process of changing things for a more peaceful environment within myself, no one is going to come and do it for me! Moreover, life is like a vapor – here today and gone tomorrow. We’re living on borrowed time and every day alive and breathing is a blessing. Why settle for less than what God has in store for me?
When I think of black women in luxury, the visuals I see are well-moisturized glistening skin (lol yes skincare!), confidence with every stance taken in communication and decisions at hand, peace that radiates from the inside out, access to services that offer convenience and rest – (knocking down the black women are superwomen trope and can do it all), and overall ease as they join the finest things in life – whatever that looks like for each person.
What others perceive of you has everything to do with their perspective and I can’t keep trying to live to please their view while ignoring my needs and leading to self-destruction.
There is a blend of material things and life experiences I will admit. I love high quality items and experiences, yet it’s the quality of life – the standards that I’m after.
It’s the peace of mind for me. It’s the no as a complete sentence with no guilt to explain more than you’re comfortable with. It’s the boundary setting, because I can and have free will to do so. It’s having complete wellness, experiencing joy, it’s the ability to just BE and EXIST and that being enough without doing things to show I’m worth something valuable in the midst of all the racism, injustice, prejudice and stereotypes of this world.
And please believe despite all the negatives and naysayers — we all deserve a seat at that table. We are elite in every which way.
What is your definition of luxury? Let me know your thoughts below.
